Trixie's Epic Quest for Destined Royalty
by Valzoa
Summary: Trixie has decided to embark on a series of epic quests to catch up to her rival, Twilight Sparkle. Surely if that foolish fool could earn her wings than Trixie should have no issue. She travels in the company of her friend Gilda and her little brother that she has pressed into writing this for her. The GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie shall not fail in her quest.
1. The Quest Begins

Hello, my fellow ponies. I have been relegated to telling the story of my older sister, Trixie Lulamoon. Who am I? Just her choreographer, stage hand, stage builder, and occasionally staged volunteer from the audience. I'm not surprised you haven't seen me. I am small and pretty shy. Heck, even my cutie mark is all about not being seen. My talent is acting. I mean the full schtick. I research my roles so I can talk about things that actually matter to the part I'm playing. I am an ace with make up and costuming and my impressions are second to none. Throw a little unicorn magic on top and there is little I can't become.

My sister has reminded me that this is supposed to be about her and her fantastic quest for glory and to humble, as she puts it, that pathetic excuse for a princess, Twilight Sparkle. (Note for the princess: She isn't mad, just still thinks she is your rival). Our first stop on our quest for great glory was a little hamlet to the south of Canterlot called, Oakmane. As our usual information gathering occurred, I set up our stage. My sister insists that her magic show is the perfect cover for an amazing princess-to-be to travel under. She wanted to push the envelope again but I insisted that if these sheltered ponies didn't take kindly to our act that teleporting would just end with somepony's organs all over the place. Still, the show went beautifully.

Warning: this next session is so fantastically wonderful that if you are not prepared for the staggering genius that is Trixie you will find your mind turned to mere putty before her brilliance.

I started with your typical trio of levitation tricks all at the same time and proceeded to amaze them with my fireworks display, set up by my dear dear brother while the poor yokels were staring at my amazing tricks. I then cast an illusion on their elder to make him look like a dragon. When he wanted to breath fire, Trixie the Great and Powerful, cast a quick fire spell to make him spew flame into the sky. And for the big finale Trixie summoned and humbled an Ursa Minor, something Twilight could never hope to do even with her alicorn magic. That is right, Twilight! I have been training! Trixie is no simple pony. She is great and powerful and shall not be stopped!

She won't bother to read this, but it wasn't actually an Ursa Minor. I requested Fluttershy lend me a bear for our act. His name is Roger and he likes fish and honey. And clovers, but that last one confuses me. I used my skills to make it look like an Ursa Minor with make up and then cast a growth spell. It took a lot of energy but it was worth it to see my sister smile.

My sister tells me that writing it from my perspective distracts too much from her brilliance and to write it like the legendary tale it will become. Masq sighed with frustration and did as she requested. It was her story afterall. What say did the writer have in it?

And so the interrogation of the locals began. Trixie and her brother, Masquerade, began their search for information. The two had heard of strange goings on and after some research, Trixie believed it to be the dreaded Durududu. A creature said to be born of ancient technology and magic. All we had heard is that ponies were found dead or gone and strange linear tracks with ripples were seen leaving the scene. All of them seemed to be heading towards the rocky terrain to the east. And so Trixie and her aide found themselves destined to climb the mountains to the east. The Great and Powerful Trixie however found the task to be daunting. How could they ever… get the stage up the mountain? Trixie needed to maintain her cover after all. If this ancient creature spotted her for the future royalty she was destined for there was no telling what number of horrible things it would attempt to inflict upon her.

Her young aide suggested that perhaps if they enlisted their dear ally, Gilda the Mighty, then perhaps Trixie could be carried high enough to see the top and teleport to it. Trixie refused to dangle so helplessly below her mighty assistant as that would be demeaning to Gilda. Her brother just rolled his eyes, not truly believing Trixie's immensely kind and thoughtful reason for not wanting to be hoisted high above these uncivilized ponies. Then Roger had an idea.

Hoisting Masqurade onto his back, the bear smiled, the star that wouldn't come out of his fur still pronounced on his forehead. Trixie was astonished at how bold this bear was. How dare it attempt to eat her brother in front of her! Her brother patted his shoulders and said that he was offering a ride. Trixie swallowed hard but not seeing any other option joined her brother.

She then said, "You can't just summarize what Trixie is saying, brother. In order to gain the full scale of Trixie's brilliance you have to share every last one of Trixie's amazing thoughts in full detail."

He returned, "If I wrote every word you said, I wouldn't finish our first day on our quest before I was 30." These words fell on deaf ears as yet another condition was added to the way this tale is written. If Trixie has gained wings by the time this two day quest was completed on paper, Masq honestly considered hanging himself.

The two rode up the immense length as Trixie spoke in a very lengthy boring way that made it difficult to hear actual words and so this author believed this was the time to end the chapter. Patting Roger with the fluffy part of his quill, Masqurade said, "I can't think of almost anything more heroic than climbing a rocky hill on a bear." Trixie reminded him in a lengthy way that this was no hill but a mountain.


	2. Trixie's Grand Conquest of the Silly Dog

Upon reaching the top of the immense mountain range, a large rolling plain greeted our hero, and assistant, on the far end was an ever so slightly visible gash in the landscape. The great and powerful Trixie requested time to retrieve her cart. Her assistant pointed out that if the Durududu was real it was likely in the gash and getting the cart in and out of the gash would be a problem.

Trixie nodded, "You are ever so clever, little Masq. Truly worthy of being my assistant." She patted roger and pointed him ahead. "Forward, our impressive ally. Forward unto the breach"

Roger nodded softly and continued along the route she had pointed out. As Trixie did so, her comrade in awe-inspiring wonder arrived, Gilda the Mighty. She spoke clearly and powerfully in a manner befitting a lion, "Hey, Trix. You here about those rumors too?"

Trixie laughed confidently, "Surely you jest! Gilda, I am here to solve those rumors and prove without a doubt that I am far superior to that delusional Twilight Sparkle. When I do, I will prove that I am far more deserving of princess status than that silly filly." When her assistant pointed out the accidental rhyme, Trixie insisted, "That was no rhyme but an accurate portrayal of her royal smugness." Quick note: She again is not serious about these statements and means them all in jest.

Gilda spoke again with the strength to shatter mountains, "And I guess he is writing it down to prove it happened? You are clever as always, Trix." The writer would like to enter here how amazing and loyal Gilda is to her good friend Trixie and these compliments are in no way here because she held his head in her claws and coerced him into putting these compliments to the page or go back and edit his previous statements.

The rolling plains were much larger to cross than anyone on the quest expected. Even Roger seemed to be at a loss as to how such a large amount of grass could exist untamed. The writer speculated that with the increase in prevalence of proper roads that there has been little need to keep the grass trimmed. The Durududu had left a mildly sizable path through the grass, as its weight and form of movement made it impossible to pass through it without leaving a path. The writer brought up his sister's brilliance in assuming what it was.

Trixie laughed again, her voice dampened over the plains by the tall grass now passing over their heads in height. "Of course, Trixie was correct. Trixie is the most learn-ed of all ponies on matters of the mystical. No myth or legend is beyond Trixie's knowledge. Even Umbra would be jealous of Trixie's great abilities." The writer in no way attempted to correct his sister on this, as doing so might offend a griffon with very powerful claws.

Their journey continued with the two great heroes speaking of their great deeds in details too longwinded and grand to recount to the mere commonfolk within the pages of this meager journal. Not that the events recounted to this point were not grand and wonderful, nor that they would not eventually become even more grand than the stories currently being told, but the tales being told were still great and… and… and they are just very impressive stories that do not matter the tale at hand. The writer hopes he does not receive any problems with this paragraph.

When her assistant seemed to become distraught, the great and merciful Trixie defended, "You will cease your tormenting of my brother and partner. He is far too great to be grouped in with the other young fillies and colts. He is my brother after all, not some silly blank flank." Masq chose to remain silent about the reference to the Crusaders as they are brave and fantastic.

After much further longwinded discussion they arrived at the gash, the grass parting silently, as they wished to approach undetected. The Mighty Gilda said sternly, "I'll check out the inside of the place, Trix. If nothing is down there right now, I'll signal you." With great speed to put even Dashie to shame, Gilda flew with the force of a hurricane, but still silently, down into the gash. There she discovered 15 diamond dogs. In a matter of moments, she beat them so bad they went scurrying to their holes and she returned stating, "I made sure it was all clear for you guys. Let's find that Vrudodu thing that you are looking for."

Warning: The events about to be recounted are 100 percent true and in no way blown out of proportion by the writer of this book at the request of the subject known as Trixie Lulamoon.

When the group arrived at the bottom of the canyon, they were riddled with holes like an ant hill. Trixie came up with the brilliant plan that Gilda would take the expert of disguise that was her ever so helpful little brother. He would cast an illusion on her and they would search the higher caves. Trixie would travel with Roger, who had been ever so peaceful to this point, riding him and disguising themselves with magic to look like a diamond dog. Once inside, the great and powerful Trixie would begin to ask them about their operation. Speaking broken equestrian was of no problem to her and it may very well uncover their true plans. Even Masq saw no issue with this, but attempted to insist that he would be a better choice for pretending to be a diamond dog. Trixie insisted that she would gladly put herself in harm's way to protect her friend and brother.

So Trixie began her infiltration into their society. As is to be expected, Trixie adjusted quickly and they were so thrown by Trixie's brilliance that they spoke to her in the simplest of words they had and often asked her more details about her brilliant diamond dog self. She was very clear with her cover, answering every question in elaborate ways they could never unwravel. They guided her to where they ponies they had taken were being kept and told her to stay right there along with 10 other armed diamond dogs to guard the ponies. One of the ponies claimed to be sick, so being the merciful pony that Trixie is, she went in to investigate. It was then that the illusion was ruined. The ponies attacked her, Roger fighting some of them off with furry backhands as if he knew not to hurt them despite their attempts to harm Trixie. By then, it was too late. Her concentration ruined, the illusion shattered and she remained locked in the cell with the other ponies.

Now, Trixie could have easily teleported away but she did not see why she should leave so many innocent ponies behind or take all of the joy of fighting their captors from them. The speech she gave to rouse them was beautiful and spoke to the soul so much that they demanded Trixie cease her speech and that they would fight alongside her because of the words she had spoken. Using her brilliant mind and powerful magic, Trixie took the keys from one of the guard and unlocked the cell, unleashing a torrent of very displeased ponies. Trixie remained in the cell with the sick to tend to them, trusting that the other ponies would not require the great experience and combat powers that Trixie very much does have. Much to her relief, Masq and Gilda found their way to assist the other ponies, though the sound of the fearsome Gilda and the force unleashed from such a torrent forced Trixie to curl up in the corner of the cell to save her hearing and body from needless harm. And that is why Trixie was in the far back corner while Roger and the rest fought.

The writer would like to end this chapter on the note that Roger is the sweetest bear in the world and would never do any of the things that the prisoners will claim later. He was very well behaved and never ate diamond dogs by the pawful, or bit off their heads like they were chocolate bunnies, or ripped out a beating heart just to show it to them before he ate it. He is a lovely bear and I will not have such horrid rumors tainting his good name.


End file.
